   | It always amuses me when people say inherently stupid things, like, say, this:
Well, not to… [...] Tangle-free flag rods should reall be called tangle-fewer. [...] Speaking of things that I was a little slow in appreciating, at first glance, I could not figure out what Sarah was talking about regarding the image at the end of her post. Then I saw it. And now I cannot un-see it. What in… [...] Given the sheer number of puns, interpretations, and general-purpose idiocy that could be made out of an incident like this, I am at a complete and total loss for words. Well, apart from, “Jesus may really have touched down…” [...] The completely whacky thing about this all-too-crazy accident? The Porsche Cayenne that narrowly avoids turning into a pancake underneath the Pepsi truck just keeps driving. And, by “narrowly”, it looked to be somewhere in the “less than two feet” range. Me, I would at least have to… [...] If I ever happen to own/run my own commercial establishment (unlikely to happen, but we are talking hypotheticals here), like, say, a greenhouse/nursery/garden supply type place (because that actually holds some degree of interest for me) or perhaps a window tinting shop, its hours would probably be something along the… [...] Now these are things you probably have never seen before, much less ever thought you would see… [...] Something that never should have been included in a house’s MLS listing, but obviously was:
Yeah, because that seems like a great idea. [...] Something I just do not get: people, who are unconnected to the events in question, apologizing for unfortunate / illegal / immoral / etc. events that happened to another person, especially when the “other person” in question is quite dead. [...] How is it that one can be “Entering XYZ Watershed Area” at the bottom of a hill? [...] Something you do not typically want to hear from one of the creators of a piece of hardware when he is troubleshooting it:
Oh goodie. [...] Why is it that modern microwaves insist on telling me “FOOD IS READY” when their timer runs out? How does it know the food is ready? Was the time I nuked my food for actually long enough? Does it know what I quantify as “ready”? And how much time, effort,… [...] I fully appreciate and encourage having a fire-extinguisher handy for any kind of fire-producing device (even internal combustion engines), but having said fire extinguisher strapped directly to a generator seems somewhat… counterproductive? [...] During our little hike on Saturday, I was the only person of four who bothered to put on bug spray… DEET-laden, broad-spectrum, name-brand bug spray. [...]
[...] It is probably a bad thing that the repairs I am having to effect on my apartment are actually improving its durability and the quality of its craftsmanship. [...] You know a home owners’ assocation has probably gone to far when their covenants include this degree of specificity:
… [...] Regular readers will know that I want a Bullitt Mustang, even moreso now that Ford is the last truly American-owned automobile company. [...] With this predictable and unsettling news, I only have one solitary question: [...] It is a bad thing when my shredder has a difficult time processing the copious amounts of gos-se the NRA sends to me on a weekly basis… [...] Why do city planners insist on placing residential districts on the sides of relatively busy highways, and why do developers insist on building relatively nice neighborhoods on those tracts? [...] Botach Tactical has what I would politely describe as a “rudimentary” webpage – as ecommerce sites go, it is about as bare-bones as you can possibly get and still have images. However, they were running a 10% off sale this past week, and I decided to give them a shot… [...] Alright, what the hell is this gos-se:
Ignoring the atrocious grammar and one-lined nature of the report, what the hell is the Secretary of Homeland Security doing fear-mongering and generating… [...] Since when does “The perfect family comedy” feature implied nudity, blatantly implied sexual intercourse, miscarriages discussed in all their ultrasound glory, and pets being put to sleep in graphic detail? [...] Seen at work today: [...] If the aircraft you stole is being tailed by two F-16s, trying to break and run after you land it is not going to do you a whole lot of good:
… [...] Well, it turns out that “SyFy” refers to sexually transmitted diseases in Poland. [...] What is the point of putting a six-inch-diameter race tachometer (complete with an inch-diameter shift-light) into an automatic Chevrolet S-10 pickup? [...] Ways To Tell Your Inventory Control System Needs Work: Your online system shows a product as “in-stock”. A customer orders said product. You charge the customer’s credit card. The same day the product shows upon the customer’s doorstep, a physical letter shows up in their physical mailbox informing them that… [...] Why do cars still have “parking lights”, or at least a setting on the light control system for “parking lights”? You certainly do not use/need them while parking, and whatever use they serve on the road could easily be done more effectively by normal headlights and taillights. I mean, at… [...] Just to back up a previous claim I made, I present you with… [...] I am uncertain whether to be amused or disturbed that smart fortwos come in zebra-striped color schemes. As in, the entire car, except for the grey bits, was appropriately black-and-white striped, as one might expect to find out on the African savannah. [...] Y’know, if Victoria’s Secret quartered their monthly mailings and only sent out a single catalog a month, I really have to wonder how much that would impact their increasingly ludicrous prices… [...] Ways To Tell You Are Too Fat [...] I am not a home designer, but I do know this: putting the closet and bathroom of a master suite at opposite diametrically opposite corners of the master bedroom is just frakking stupid. Stop doing it already! [...] You know, I am not really sure which is worse: [...] Heard on Jeopardy:
The correct question was:
So… hold on a tick. Does that mean one can have PG nudity? [...] Why are beer and wine measured in percentages while almost everything else is in proof? [...] Memo to Apple: [...] Did you know that one can now order Domino’s Pizza from one’s TiVo? [...] I have seen the Burj Dubai in person, and I can honestly say, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that these two gentlemn are bloody nuts. [...] For reference, this is a surefire way to piss just about everyone off:
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