I recently wrote this somewhere else, and it was sufficiently amusing for the audience there that I thought I would share it here:
Just when I thought he could not be a bigger tool bag, he went and hit up Sears.
In retrospect, though, that was later downgraded to “Harbor Freight”. In any case, the context is unimportant, and so is the person in discussion for that matter, but I figured it was [...]
Now that my father is on the road to recovery and I am back on my apparently usual side of the country, I have two takeaways:
First, do not get cancer. Obviously this is not something you can always control, but if you do have control over it (say, by stopping smoking), I would suggest exerting that control.
Second, cancer sucks, chemotherapy sucks, and radiation therapy sucks, but here is the news you [...]
If your phone has the ability to blacklist numbers (and, thankfully, CyanogenMod does), I would go ahead and blacklist the 1.268.762.**** area code and prefix. In fact, unless you have family, friends, or other people in Antigua and Barbuda who would otherwise be calling you, I would recommend simply blacklisting the entire 1.268.* area code. It turns out jackasses from that area code are doing some kind of “one-ring scam”, and calling them back – [...]
If your job application system requires me to upload my resume, and then type my resume into your specific text fields all over again, your job application system sucks. I understand that recruiters and HR weenies want applicants’ information to be in an easily-searchable, standardized format, but if that is really the case, stop wasting everyone’s time and internet bandwidth with actual resumes.
There has not been a great deal of movement on the [...]
I wonder what UPS drivers think of the people / places they deliver to.
For example, my parents live on a cul-de-sac, and we heard the Brown Truck of Joy coming from a long way off. So, since I was expecting a package, and since any distraction is welcome at this point, both my mother and I got up and met the UPS driver at the door. He said he had a package for [...]
Alright, I am officially not a fan of North Carolina. Since moving to this state…
- My DSLR has broken (refuses to auto-focus). – My printer has died (printer head went kaput, and those cost more than printers). – My new-to-me Land Rover Defender’s engine detonated for no apparent reason. – My desktop’s video cards are exhibiting all the classic symptoms of spontaneously combusting in the near future (no, I do not overclock, and yes, [...]
Let me tell you a story, though an admittedly dry, boring one.
Regular readers will know that I am a United States Navy veteran*, and, specifically, a Surface Warfare Officer; in short, this means I directed other people to drive ships around oceans. However, while ships are in port, they have something called a “quarterdeck”; I have no idea what happens to the quarterdeck when the ship is underway, but think of it like [...]
This probably comes as no surprise to some of my readers, but I grew up in a very conservative family, and for many years, I had a… shall we say "less than salutary" view of homosexuals, transgenders, queers, and all of the rest of the terminologies and categories people can fall into other than "straight and square". I would not say I was homophobic, per se, simply because they did not frighten me, but rather [...]
Based on personal experience and for a plethora of reasons I am simply not going to get into on here, if I should ever find myself in the market for an early-model, older, non-American, or otherwise importable Land Rover again, I will not be using GMR 4×4 out of Charlotte, VT. I wish I could tell you who I would use, but I have insufficient experience with any other company. Although, really, this whole experience [...]
Not sure I needed to know about this.
Or, rather, I am not sure you needed to know about this. Now I can make whatever future ramblings I bother to write even more indecipherable. Like this:
I am vaguely amused that the BBC never bothered to actually formalize the Gallifreyan language, with this translation process being pioneered by an enterprising teenager, but he even went so far as to formalize the [...]
Another person I know on the intertubes – and a little in person, too – has accomplished the rather impressive task of taking an idea from nebulous form to printed (at least digitally) word, this time in the form of Take The Star Road. Peter, the proprietor of Bayou Renaissance Man has been working on this story for quite some time, and the initial reviews (I have not had a chance to read it yet) [...]
Some time ago, an acquaintance of mine expressed to me that she always liked me because I "have a serious amount of ‘I don’t give a f*ck’", and actually go out of my way to say things – to be specific, I put in to words what other are unwilling to unable to express, for a variety of reasons, and direct those words to people largely unaccustomed to hearing them, for any number of reasons. [...]
From personal observation, more acutely honed from recent information, I have found it is always those who most loudly proclaim that they do not hold grudges who are always the ones to hold the most grudges for as long as they possibly can, and display those grudges in the most… pathetic of fashions.
I guess that goes along with the notion of if a man has to tell you he is honest, he probably [...]
I have absolutely no problems with women serving in “combat units” in the military…
… so long as they meet exactly the same, already-established standards that everyone else serving there already met.
Simply put, having separate requirements for women and men in a combat unit is absolutely idiotic; it is not like an M240B will care whether the person humping it 10 miles over a mountain has breasts or not, and neither will [...]
By and large, the Secret Service does not publicize a great deal of information about assassination attempts on Presidents, probably because they do not want future would-be assassins to learn from the mistakes and successes of their predecessors, I would imagine. Some information (Wikipedia warning) does make it out to the press, of course, but I somehow doubt that is all the information, much less all the incidents.
With that said, I am going [...]
I was not a huge fan of the book, so maybe it is just as well the movie’s only point of similarity appears to be its title:
Of course, the movie goes with freakishly hyper-fast zombies, whereas the books featured the standard shamblers… I cannot say as though I have ever been a huge proponent of the former position. I mean, unless we are going to the 28 Days Later theory, "zombies" are [...]
Anheuser-Busch makes beverages that could generally charitably be referred to as "shiong mao niao", but they (used to, per comments) let active duty military members into their theme parks for free, and they have always done what they can to support victims of natural disasters.
(Courtesy of In the Middle of the Right.)