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"walls of the city" logo conceptualized by Oleg Volk and executed by Linoge. Logo is © "walls of the city".

a thousand blind monkeys could do better

This keychain tool kit that I forgot was still attached to my carabiner was deemed unacceptable for me to have on my person by the Nashville branch of the Thousands of Sexual Assaulters due to its 1.375" knife, and was therefore confiscated from me at the security checkpoint for the airport (sorry, Weer’d).

confusedmalHowever, at both Nashville and SeaTac airports, this solid stainless steel pen (that could never hurt/kill anyone) was allowed through without a second glance, this push-dagger-styled spork attracted no attention at all, and I can guaranbloodytee the imbeciles working the x-ray belt had no idea what my magnesium and flint rods were in my backpack, much less the little waterproof capsule full of vaseline-soaked cotton balls.

And those are just the obvious items I feel like sharing at the moment.

So go on – tell me the lie that our "safety" is the TSA’s priority, or whatever that bullshit is they are spreading these days. I am far from the smartest or most creative when it comes to repurposing every-day items to destructive means, but if my sorry arse, complete with whatever common-place items I happen to have on me, could pose a significant material threat to an aircraft, your "security" is completely meaningless. Get the hell out of the way and let people go back about their lives without their genitals being televised or groped.

(Oh, and just to cap this massive fail-cake off, those ionizing-radiation-spewing backscatter scanners the TSA is taking out of airports? Not only does SeaTac still use them, through a variety of administrative failures, they are going to keep on using them. Yeah. "Safety" is our priority. Sure it is.)

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