I started this as a comment at Uncle’s place, but felt I needed to do it here instead as it got quite long.
My wife won’t carry. That’s her choice, and I respect it. I suspect a lot of us are in that situation. At some point she’ll get her carry permit because of other advantages, but I doubt she’ll ever carry.
That being said, she knows what to do. Her brother (8 years her senior) spent a good deal of time training her for mindset. When we met, she was a competent shooter and now she knows how to operate every firearm we own. She has a very high level of situational awareness. She knows how to recognize a developing problem and doesn’t hesitate to react. She does this more or less naturally, pretty much like the rest of us (shooters).
In one incident, she and some female friends from out of town were walking back to her car. It was late, drinking was involved, and Mrs. wizardpc was the DD. She noticed a large sedan with tinted windows slow down to match their walking pace, then speed off and turn behind a building. In her typical brilliance, she challenged the other girls to a race to the car. As she locked the doors and started the car, that sedan came from behind another building. If they had still been walking, the sedan would have effectively blocked their path. The others never even noticed.
Now, it might not have been anything more than a confused driver, but better safe than sorry. She noticed odd behavior, recognized that three drunk twenty-somethings would be hard for her to handle in a bad situation, and acted to get them out quickly without alarming them.
This is a very valuable skill set for non-shooters. I’d much prefer that people I’m with be able to recognize that something very bad is about to happen before that very bad thing starts happening. If they get surprised they might freeze. Or worse yet, they might do something. As the old saying goes, “Professionals are predictable. Amateurs are dangerous!”
So, the moral is this: Even if they don’t carry, make sure people you are with on a somewhat regular basis (wife, parents, siblings, friends) know “the plan.” You may think they know what to do, but talk with them anyway just to be sure.
The incident you relate regarding your wife and three other women alone and leaving a club brings to mind this recent story from the Nashville City Paper: http://bit.ly/nGg2kF
@ Steve in TN: That’s why I linked to a version of it
Oh, wow. Didn’t see that.
For the record, two were very drunk, 1 was sober. As I pulled out of the parking lot in a mad hurry almost immediately after the last car door shut, the sober one noticed my behavior and asked about it. I then pointed out the sedan and told her what I noticed as we walked, then ran up the street. She said she was glad I didn’t say anything, and just reacted to get us out of there. I’m not sure the other 2 ever had any idea what could have happened.
My wife has a carry permit, but doesn’t carry because her job is in a state-mandated “No carry” zone. That accounts for 90% of the time she’s out of the house. I haven’t been able to get her to carry that last 10% of the time, yet, but she does have the permit.
She shoots and is willing to use a gun for self defense if need be. She’s taken training with me, including a defensive rifle class where we did some partner work, and she’s pretty good. She also competes from time to time.
We have talked and do have plans for what to do if something happens when were together and I’m the only one who is armed. We also have “safe” and “duress” words and have planned for likely possibilities, such as home invasions, etc.
On her own, she’s very alert with good situational awareness.
For not actually carrying, I think she’s doing the best possible, safety wise.
wizardpc,
Very good points and related story. Believe me that there are some shooters out there who need better situational awareness too.
mrs.wizardpc,
Great work!!!
[...] It involves mindset more than carrying. [...]
Having a plan is good and it should include the reality that sometimes, when a particular tone of voice is used, the other person needs to simply do what they’re told with no questions or debate (or offense taken) in certain circumstances. A sound relationship should have enough trust for that.
“Let’s race to the car” was a brilliant way for her to get the less-aware folks, with whom “having a plan” wasn’t really an option, moving without turning it into a discussion. Kudos on her awareness and quick-thinking.
Just like in the military, “orders” like “get behind me”, “get inside”, “call 911″, “run” and the like need to be done, and now, not talked about; particularly if one party in the relationship has chosen to not take the lead or maintain parity in defensive issues (to include awareness). What happened and why can be discussed after the fact.
[...] On having your wife as a battle buddy | walls of the city So, the moral is this: Even if they don’t carry, make sure people you are with on a somewhat regular basis (wife, parents, siblings, friends) know “the plan.” You may think they know what to do, but talk with them anyway just to be sure. (tags: guns concealedcarry selfdefense situationalawareness) [...]