I started this as a comment at Uncle’s place, but felt I needed to do it here instead as it got quite long.
My wife won’t carry. That’s her choice, and I respect it. I suspect a lot of us are in that situation. At some point she’ll get her carry permit because of other advantages, but I doubt she’ll ever carry.
That being said, she knows what to do. Her brother (8 years her senior) spent a good deal of time training her for mindset. When we met, she was a competent shooter and now she knows how to operate every firearm we own. She has a very high level of situational awareness. She knows how to recognize a developing problem and doesn’t hesitate to react. She does this more or less naturally, pretty much like the rest of us (shooters).
In one incident, she and some female friends from out of town were walking back to her car. It was late, drinking was involved, and Mrs. wizardpc was the DD. She noticed a large sedan with tinted windows slow down to match their walking pace, then speed off and turn behind a building. In her typical brilliance, she challenged the other girls to a race to the car. As she locked the doors and started the car, that sedan came from behind another building. If they had still been walking, the sedan would have effectively blocked their path. The others never even noticed.
Now, it might not have been anything more than a confused driver, but better safe than sorry. She noticed odd behavior, recognized that three drunk twenty-somethings would be hard for her to handle in a bad situation, and acted to get them out quickly without alarming them.
This is a very valuable skill set for non-shooters. I’d much prefer that people I’m with be able to recognize that something very bad is about to happen before that very bad thing starts happening. If they get surprised they might freeze. Or worse yet, they might do something. As the old saying goes, “Professionals are predictable. Amateurs are dangerous!”
So, the moral is this: Even if they don’t carry, make sure people you are with on a somewhat regular basis (wife, parents, siblings, friends) know “the plan.” You may think they know what to do, but talk with them anyway just to be sure.