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dear eric heyl

I might care about your misogynistic bigotry if it was even loosely based in this thing we like to call “reality”. 

But it is not

So I do not. 

Instead, I will simply sit back and watch your ass get handed to you by a woman a fraction of your size who is already more capable, more self-reliant, more independent, and more an adult human being than you could ever hope to be. 

P.S. – Remind me how gun owners are supposed to be the sexist ones? 

(Search engine customers are welcome to read my response to Eric Heyl’s idiotic comment, in case this post and comment thread did not give you a sufficient picture of the depths of his particular breed of discrimination.)

19 comments to dear eric heyl

  • Patrick

    Remind me how gun owners are supposed to be the sexist ones?

    I have no clue. Every class I’ve done has included women at least 2-4 in each. Well the last class only had one lady in it but there were 4 people, so 25%? :)

  • P.S. – Remind me how gun owners are supposed to be the sexist ones?

    Wait a second… wait a second! I thought we were supposed to be racists?!

    I’m always the last to know.

  • Eric Heyl

    Recognizing satire obviously isn’t a talent in your skill set, but that’s OK. My sincere thanks to you for reading.

  • Patrick

    alcade wrote:

    Wait a second… wait a second! I thought we were supposed to be racists?!
    I’m always the last to know.

    Well that too. If they could pin the start of WWII on us, I’m sure they’d try.

  • Breda

    No, I think writing satire isn’t in yours, Eric.

  • @ Eric Heyl:
    Somehow, I knew you’d backpedal and insist it was satire.

  • Sorry heyl, you can’t cover up your bigotry & misogyny with an after the fact “but it was satire!”

    own your words you coward.

  • Anyone else getting the flavor of an elementary age child saying “just joking” after being mean to someone else?

  • TS

    Sure it maybe satire, but it is not gun owners or the NRA that he is mocking. It’s women.

  • @ Bob S.:
    Yep. Hand in the cookie jar. It’s a very childish “defense” of the BS he wrote. Then again I think asking Mr. Heyl to man up and respond like an adult may be asking too much of him.

  • @ Patrick: Funny how reality never quite seems to agree with the narrow-minded, intolerant viewpoints of folks like Eric…

    @ alcade: Yeah, but you are making the classic mistake of thinking we cannot be both! I think you would be very safe in assuming that if there is an “ist”, there is someone out there who believes firearm owners, as a whole, are it.

    @ Eric Heyl: Well, it would seem as though most of the points I was going to hit in my response to you have already been expressed by my all-too-perceptive readers, but, damnit, this is my weblog, and I am going to have my piece :).

    Why is it that the last refuge of bigoted, bullyish, ignorant jackoffs who are called on the carpet for their behavior is to disown it as being “just a joke”? Do you really think that is going to work any more, now that you are out of the kindergarten playground?

    And then comes the projection – “oh, you did not get the joke, because there is something wrong with you“. Hate to break it to you, Eric, but as a writer, you obvoiusly failed. I am quite definitively not alone in finding your pathetic little attempt at “satire” not at all amusing, and that is a failing on your part (specifically not making yourself adequately clear), not on ours.

    But, as Mike says, expecting you to take responsibility for your words/actions is apparently just too much to ask…

    Oh, and in case you were not familiar with the definition of the word, Eric, and I have every reason to think you are not, here is what “satire” means: “witty language used to convey insults or scorn”. Apart from not seeing an ounce of “wit” in your entire article, I dare say I called it perfectly… and thanks for admitting as much.

    @ Bob S.: Bingo! Rather than own up and admit to his behavior, he backpedals and plays the poor, persecuted victim. Yeah… not buyin’ it, sorry.

  • Lying sack of satire.

  • [...] commentsDirtCrashr on dear eric heylLinoge on quote of the day – miguelLinoge on pretty shiny thingsLinoge on hindsight is [...]

  • Yeah, Eric. Iowahawk readers like me don’t recognize satire when we see it, right?

    Maybe your writing skills, not our ability to decipher the message, is at fault here.

    Or it could simply be that you stereotyped the crap out of women in your piece without all that witty scorn you supposedly wrote. I’m leaning toward that option because you aren’t witty and the piece wasn’t exactly conveying the message that you think the NRA’s attitude toward women stinks.

    Then again, I’m just a dumb, gun-toting redneck from the middle of nowhere, so what do I know about literature?

  • @ DirtCrashr: That might just be the winning phrase, right there…

    @ Sarah: Oh, you need not fret your little head, I am sure Eric will be back to illuminate your gender-induced darkness, and let you in on the jokes that were at your expense…

  • Tam

    If I was Eric Heyl, I’d be all butthurt, too.

    Imagine getting made fun of by so many people who were so much funnier than you, when your entire self worth thus far has largely been tied up in being the funniest guy at the Mudville Picayune office Christmas party…

    Five gets you ten they find him in the mop closet at the office, hanged by his keyboard cable, with a tear-stained, Liquid Paper-smudged suicide note pinned to his sweater-vest.

  • og

    Sarah:
    hey, Eric’s writing is EXACTLY like Iowahawk’s satire- in the same way I’m EXACTLY like Dolly Parton- we’re both old, and we both have huge tits.

    Tam:
    “Five gets you ten they find him in the mop closet at the office, hanged by his keyboard cable, with a tear-stained, Liquid Paper-smudged suicide note pinned to his sweater-vest.”

    A normal person would be devastated by losing an ass kicking contest to a- well, you know. Eric, being a True Progressive, will whine to all his progressive friends how the neanderthals in flyover country were DUM!!!

    he’d never do us and the world a favor by, say, testing the tensile strength of his belt on one of the cold water pipes in the mop closet.

  • @ Eric Heyl:

    Last time I checked, one of the requirements of satire is that it must actually be funny.

  • @ Tam: Unfortunately, such a course of action would require him to realize that his ass has been handed to him on a silver platter from about seventeen different directions, and if there is one thing Eric’s writing makes clear, it is that he is unable to adequately grasp the obvious.

    @ Justin: But, y’see, you are just too stupid to get it! He really is funny… in his own mind.



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