Me and the new city are gonna have to have a sit-down.

Mrs WizardPC and I close on the new house tomorrow. If everything goes according to plan, that is.
As a part of all this, we of course have to have the utilities put in our name. Electric was not a big deal, except the electric company uses forced charity unless you opt out, which I did. Trash services are not provided by the city, so we have to go with a third party contractor for that. The house doesn’t have natural gas, so no need to deal with Piedmont NG this go-round.
Water, though, is an entirely different story. It’s….interesting….that the only government run utility one has to deal with is the one that’s the hardest to deal with. With electricity, trash, and natural gas (if I needed that), all you have to do to get those switched over is make a phone call and pay a fee. Here is the process with the city-owned water company:

To sign up for City Water/Sewer service, residents and business owners must come to City Hall. The Water/Sewer Service office is open from 8am to 4:30pm Monday through Friday. They are closed Saturday and Sunday.

So you have to take a day off work to go get the water turned on, because you have to be there in person, and they’re only open when most people have to be at work. Awesome. Good thing I already took off tomorrow for closing. Now I have one more thing to do.

An application consisting of the following must be filled out: Resident’s and spouse’s (if applicable) name, address, social security number, driver’s license number, place of employment. A Photo ID is also required.

I guess there is a big problem with people paying other people’s water bills. Hence the need for Photo ID. And your place of employment. Oh, and they also don’t have the application online, so you can’t just pop in with a completed application.

Residents purchasing a new home must also bring a copy of the “Certificate of Occupancy,” given to them by their builder. They also need a Settlement Statement for a new home or an existing home. Renters must bring a copy of their lease agreement.

Yeah so here’s the problem with requiring a Settlement Statement. If you pay cash for a house, or inherit one, or are given one as a gift (lucky you!), you may not get a Settlement Statement. That is a document that a lender is required to give to a buyer if they have a federally-regulated mortgage. My understanding is that a lot of real estate agents will do one of these anyway, but if I can just phony-up a HUD-1 what’s the freaking point in asking for one?
Anyway, that’s what you have to go through just to get the water turned on. Payment is an entirely different story. Thankfully, they do allow automatic bank drafts so that’s what we’re going to do. But God help the people who want to pay by debit card or credit card. It’s a $2.50+ fee if you pay in person, or $4.00 if you pay by phone or over the web.
Unless you’re trying to use a Visa Debit card. Then, you’re just screwed. Why? Because it’s against Visa’s rules to charge a service fee. From The City’s website:

Visa Debit Card Customers
Due to an issue between VISA and VitalChek (our debit card processing company) we can no longer accept/process “VISA” debit cards that bare/use “INTERLINK” through our system. (Per VitalChek: At this time, VISA has not approved any merchant to accept VISA issued cards for in person transactions with a processing fee.)

And if The City, for whatever reason, fails to update your account balance, they shut your water off rather than sending notice. Because mail is too expensive, I suppose.
I can run for Alderman in 2012. Think I just might.