Dear UPS Delivery Man,
Considering that you have failed at this four or five times now, this concept must be a difficult one for you to grasp. I will try to make it a little more clear in this letter, but be forewarned – I might use polysyllabic words.
I live in an apartment complex.
This apartment complex has an office that is manned during normal business hours.
The people in this office are authorized to sign for and receive packages if apartment residents are not home.
I work throughout the day, and thus am never home to sign for a package.
So take five gorramed seconds to get your lazy ass out of your truck, go to the apartment office on your way out of the complex, and have the nice ladies there sign for and take my bloody packages.
Really now. Is it that frakking hard? I know this is not uncommon – just about every apartment complex out there has a similar arrangement set up between the residents and the office staff. So do your frakking job already, and deliver the gorramed packages.
Thank you for your time,
Linoge.
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