the friends we keep

Pelican cases come with an extraordinarily good warrantee, especially these days. As quoted straight from their own webpage,

You break it, we replace it… forever. … Pelican™ Products will continue to guarantee the product directly, against breakage or defects in workmanship. This guarantee does not cover the lamp or batteries in lights. The o-rings must be kept greased (and replaced if damaged) per product instructions. (Replace o-rings annually or when damaged.)

However, there is a second section of their guarantee that I did not really notice until my cases actually arrived in the mail. Below is a scan of their instruction manual, and, specifically, the page relating to the warantee. Click to enlarge:

It might be a little difficult to read at that size, but if you enlarge it, and look for the section I conveniently highlighted for you, the cause for this post will be come clear. Namely:

The guarantee does not cover shark bite, bear attack and children under five.

Not being a father yet, I guess I cannot quite fully comprehend, but it certainly is amusing that humans under five years of age are ranked with the most dangerous predator of the waters, and one of the more fearsome, powerful creatures on land. Of course, even more amusing is the probable fact that all three of those clauses are a byproduct of someone trying to get warantee work done after each of those incidents…