You know, I heard from the brother of a third-cousin-twice-removed of the sister of the friend of the coworker of the nephew of someone who cut the hair of someone else who robbed someone who might or might not be on Barack Hussein Obama's campaign that he is both unpatriotic and a Muslim!

SSSSSSHHHH!!! Do not tell anyone, though... otherwise, the cybernauts might come and spirit me away to their secret hideout in the Tibetan Alps!

....

"Cybernauts"? What the hell?? Can anyone else say that word and keep a straight face? 'Cause, you know, I am kind of in Ahab's boat on that count.