So I received my first “skinhead” accusation today. Some of my readers may be somewhat confused by this statement, but those of you who are as pale-skinned as I am, and who also shave your heads, will definitely understand. However, this one was notable for a variety of reasons.
First, I have been shaving my head for the better part of 10 days now. In the past, it has only taken a matter of two to five days for the first of those accusations to surface. At least that is a positive development, I suppose.
Second, I initially thought the accusor was joking, until, after the standard, “Ha, ha, very funny, I have never heard that one before,” moment, he immediately launched into, “So, when did you join the Aryan Nation?” and “Did you hear what your brothers did with that Navy building in San Diego?” I do not know about the rest of you all, but accusing someone of being a “skinhead”, jokingly or not, is not really all that funny. However, once you go down the path even farther, like this guy did, there is absolutely no doubt that it is no longer funny, and only intended to be trouble. Thankfully, instead of going ballistic on the guy for being a judgemental twit, I launched into a tirade about how many hundreds of thousands dollars of taxpayers’ money (600,000 dollars, to be specific) are being wasted “fixing” a building that just happened to coincidentally share its shape with a design that originally had absolutely nothing to do with what it was eventually perverted into representing. Unfortunately, not being a student of history, I lost him at that point… fortunately, that caused him to move on to bothering other people.
Third, the person prompting this post, and who made the initial accusation, is black. It has never ceased to amaze me how males from any other ethnic group can get away with Nairing their respective noggins without even the slightest of consternation or concern. However, the second one of us cracka’s goes and depilates our domes, eyebrows go up, defensive postures are adopted, and accusations are slung. No, my good readers, racism is not dead in America – it has just found enough people to wield it that it is now considered acceptable.
So why do I shave my head if I am not a “skinhead”, or a member of the Aryan Nation, or any of that other tomfoolery? Well, the most basic of answers is, “Because it is my head, and I wanted to,” and it would be an honest answer at that. Apart from that, however, there are a variety of reasons. First, at the prime old age of about 18, I started going bald. Now, at the age of 25, I have two good-sized landing strips, and they are expanding every year. In short, I may as well get used to the shininess. Second, at the prime old age of about 16, I started going grey. With a vengeance. I actually volunteered at my college’s Hair Cuttery for them to test out a new anti-grey hair dying process (the stuff worked pretty well, honestly, though I cannot remember, for the life of me, what company it was). As it is now, the only part of my head that is not at least 50% grey is the top, and that is only because it is 50% flesh-colored. Third, I am cheap, and I am lazy. Shaving my head myself is cheaper than getting someone else to cut it, and I am willing to wager that it takes less time a week than cutting, shampooing, drying, caring for, etc. etc. ‘Course, I never did much with my hair to begin with, but that is a different matter. And fourth… well, it is a simple, easy change, and variety never hurt anyone. Oh, and I do not look half bad with my hair gone as is. So what prompted the first trim? I had been toying with the idea for a spell, but I was at college, and someone bet me I would not. For anyone who has not yet gone through institutions of higher education, much of the fun you will have there stems from conversations such as that one, and a few hours later, I had a smooth cranium. Thankfully, no alcohol was involved before the fact, otherwise the first attempt could have been considerably more bloody than it was. After the fact, though, some antiseptic was required…
*shrugs* Due to Better Half coming to visit in a little while, I will stop shaving and once again grow out my perfectly straight, thin, thinning hair. However, it will not be due to people slinging about pointless insults just because. While attacking people simply due to their appearance has been a time-honored tradition of the emotionally immature and socially impaired, that is no reason to cater to it, nor pay it the slightest bit of heed. After all, if you do not let us whities shave our heads, who will reflect the sun’s evil rays back into space and save the world from global warming?
I’ve been balding since 18 and about five years ago discovered the #1 setting on the electric razors at Supercuts, etc. Every couple of weeks I just say “No. 1 all over” and in a minute I’m done. I don’t have to deal with the annoyance of shaving stubble every day or so, but it feels nice and cool just like being shaved.
Also — get a tan, you won’t hear those comments any more.
Mine just go thinner and finer and whispy and finally only the sides remain – and it’s damn cold in winter, I hate cold weather!
Heh. Tan. Unfortunately, my blood still contains a few too many Irish genes. While this means I can drink copious amounts of alcohol and generally be unaffected, it also means my skin comes in two shades: pale white, and lobster red. Damned evil daystar.
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Yeah, the #1 is what I normally get when I have hair (Better Half likes it “fuzzy”, but not gone), but I got tired of forking over $10+ to get something I could basically manage myself, especially when I was in college and had two bucks to my name. These days, I suppose that excuse is gone, but now I can fall back on “history”.
My head is going the route of Garibaldi, off Babylon 5… got one hell of a widow’s peak, and solid sides, but I know the top is going to pack up and leave eventually. However, you did find the one drawback to shavedness, DirtCrashr… all the more reason to have a cunning hat, though
Several People of the Gun seem to be folliclely challenged as well, myself being one of them.
My reason for cutting my blonde tresses is a bit more comical. Back in ’96 I went to work at a ski resort in Australia. We lived dorm style and everyone on my floor shared a bathroom. Well, I didn’t pay as much attention to the orientation manual they sent us as I should have and didn’t realize they use 240 V power. The outlets have a different design then ours do but as I’m of the “If it doesn’t fit, force it. If it breaks, it probably needed replacing anyway.” school of thought I, by god, got my hairdryer plugged in.
I turn it on.
Hairdryer makes a high, whining sound.
Hairdryer bursts into flames.
Hairdryer gets thrown into urinal trough.
Lights go out in the whole dorm.
Brass is left without a hairdryer and, as new one in Australia costs about $80, he ends up shaving his head for the rest of his 6 month stay.
I figure, after the cost of hairclippers, I’m down to about .3 cents a haircut now.
All I have is a little ring around my head, so I started shaving it some time ago. It’s actually faster and easier to shave my whole head than it is my chin.
A bald white guy is automatically a “skinhead”? There should be a “twit” test that disallows those who pass from voting.
I flamed all over an assclown at work who kept referring to me as “RideFast, our Hells Angel from Engineering”. I said something like “How would you like it if I called you a Nazi?” he then asked me what would be wrong with that!
Idiots. They breed too fast.
… Wow. Your story definitely beats mine all to hell, Brass. I guess the good news is that the hair dryer did not catch your hair on fire. Of course, that always could have made the shaving process easier.
The cost of my shave varies whether I am using a bladed razor and gel, or my electric razor… Of course, I am way too lazy to try and figure the calculations for that little material, or that little electricity, so suffice it with “cheap”.
Yeah, I keep telling Better Half that is eventually going to happen to me, and that is eventually going to be how I treat it, but she still is not keen on the idea. I mean, at that point, you may as well just surrender to the inevitable.
And I think the real issue, Ride Fast, is over a white guy making himself artificially bald – not as though that is any excuse, but I doubt he would have the same reaction to a naturally-bald individual. At least, I hope not.
I am not sure which is worse with your anecdote… the moron throwing about names like that, or him not understanding the gravity of a word like “Nazi”. Yet another product of the American school system, I would wager.
Must be the skin tone. I’m Italian, with attendant darker complexion, and I’ve had a shaved head for years. I started losing my hair at 19; it was gone by 25. After a few years, I got tired of trimming it every other week and just shaved it all off.
No one’s ever accused me of being a skinhead, though…
Sorry to hear of your run-in with the feeble-minded…
You know, I’ve been shaving my dome for the last 4 or 5 years now – for the same reasons as you – and I’ve never been accused of being a skinhead… the one time a black accosted me and accused me of being a skinhead was when I had a full head of hair that was bleached white-blonde and spiked up… go figure…
It may very well be a matter of skintone, Jay G. Like I said, I am damned by Irish genes, and am more than a little pale. Add to that “tall” and “scrawny”, and I am not sure what the end result is. These accusations have happened before, and I am quite sure they will happen again… they do not annoy so much as disappoint.
And, Kevin, that is more than a little… amusing. I guess my situation is relatively unique among head-shavers… it may have also been a product of me first shaving it in Atlanta, though one would think San Diego would be a little more free of the effects of a conflict 150 years past.